ORIENTATION TO HOLY UNION OR WEDDING SERVICES
Broadway United Methodist Church
3344 N. Broadway
Chicago, IL 60657
773-348-2679
FAX: 773-346-2521
Pastor Jenny Weber
Pastor: Vernice Thorn
We're glad you're considering celebrating your wedding or Holy Union here at Broadway. This document is designed to introduce you to some of the policies, practices, and understandings regarding services held here. Some of what is printed below will be discussed when you meet with the Pastor. But if you have questions, don't hesitate to raise them.
Meeting with the Pastor
A minimum of seven meetings with the pastors will be necessary - four well in advance of the service (as much as nine months), and three very close to the date of the service. All of these meetings must be at least one week apart, with the last one scheduled no more than a week before the service. In any case, a preliminary meeting as far in advance of the service as possible is very helpful. At that meeting you and the pastors will have the opportunity to meet in person, to talk about the work you would be doing together, and for you to decide if you want to proceed with Pastors Weber and Thorn as the celebrants of your service. (Normally both pastors will be working with the couple and serving as celebrants for the service.) If you would like another clergy person to be celebrant with Broadway's pastors or rather than them, that is not normally a problem. Be sure to talk about that with the pastors before contacting the other clergy person if possible, and certainly at your first meeting.
The meetings with the pastors focus on two areas: the service affirming your wedding or Holy Union and your relationship. The areas of your relationship – and Holy Union or marriage relationships in general – that will be explored, will include:
1. Expectations of and assumptions about marriage or Holy Union. Why Holy Union or marriage? The equality of both persons and the "balance" in the relationship. Marriage or Holy Union as an affirmation of and support for individual identity, "couple" identity, and new community relationship.
2. Family background and personal history.
3. Sexuality in the relationship and as an issue in all relationships.
4. The economics of the relationship. Where does the money come from? Where does it go? How are the decisions made?
5. Conflict, counseling, and other issues of "health care" in the relationship.
Prepare, a computer scored relationship inventory, will be used with most couples planning Holy Unions and weddings. The inventory is administered by Pastor Weber. However, a $35.00 scoring and analysis fee is paid directly by the couple to the company that designed the inventory. (Checks should be made out to "Life Innovations, Inc." Checks should be provided at the time the inventory is taken.)
All discussions with the pastors are confidential. If the couple or either person would find additional couple sessions or individual sessions helpful, they can usually be arranged. The goal of all sessions is to share information and gain insights that will strengthen the understanding of the relationship and its possibilities.
Attending Worship
During the period couples work with the pastors in preparation for the Holy Union or wedding, regular attendance at Broadway's Sunday morning worship services is expected. One of our assumptions about life-giving relationships is that their vitality has many sources beyond the couple themselves. We see the community of faith as one such source. Participating in the life of a congregation provides support, challenge, and an opportunity to share and grow in ministry. Any exception to the attendance expectation must be negotiated with the pastors at the first meeting.
The Rehearsal
Most often the service affirming your wedding or Holy Union requires a rehearsal. Normally, it is held the evening before the service. The rehearsal lasts almost exactly one hour. It should be scheduled at the first meeting with the pastors.
It is very important that everyone be on time for both the rehearsal and the service. All members of the wedding or Holy Union party should be so informed. The pastors sometimes have obligations immediately after a scheduled rehearsal or service. The building may be otherwise scheduled as well. If the rehearsal or service cannot begin on time, cancellation or an incomplete rehearsal – or even service! – could result.
Emergencies will receive sensitive response. But neither the church nor the pastors assumes liability for rehearsals or services that are canceled or incomplete because of tardiness.
The following should be brought to the rehearsal by the couple:
1. The marriage license for weddings.
2. The rings or other symbols if rings are not used.
3. The bulletins.
4. The "Unity Candle", if used.
5. Elements for Holy Communion, if used. (One loaf of unbroken bread and one bottle of grape juice or wine.)
6. The cups for the "Cup of Tears / Cup of Joy" ritual if used.
7. The building use financial contribution, if not previously sent.
8. The contribution to the Good Samaritan Account (see below: "Fees and Contribution").
9. The fees to the custodian, organist and pastors.
Scheduling the Building
Following the first meeting with the pastors, both the rehearsal and the service affirming your wedding or Holy Union should be scheduled with the church secretary.
Fees and Contributions
The contributions for the use of the church building and fees associated with the service are as follows*:
- Sanctuary. Includes both rehearsal and service.
Non-members: $150
Members No charge
- Custodial Fee $75 (Check made out to "Oscar Meza.")
(Couples are to arrange for the general clean up of the sanctuary and other rooms immediately after the service. This would include the removal of all items brought by persons for or in conjunction with the service (candles, bulletins, clothing bags, flower boxes, etc.) The custodial fee is for the more detailed clean up (vacuuming, sweeping, etc.) that the church's custodian must do.)
- Other Rooms. Rooms for the wedding or covenant party to assemble and, if necessary, to dress, are provided for no additional contribution. If rooms are needed for a reception or other purpose, some additional contribution will be involved.
- Music. When organ or piano music is planned for the service and the service is to be held at Broadway UM Church, Broadway's organist normally will be the instrumentalist. The organist's fee is $200. This fee is always paid to Broadway's organist even if another organist is used. If a different organist is used, a separate additional fee arrangement must be made with that organist. The exception to this policy is if Broadway's organist is not available or chooses not to play for the service. Couples may also schedule consultations with Broadway's organist about wedding music. Such consultations will require an additional fee of $50.00 per hour.
- Clergy Fee.
Non-members $125 to each pastor. (If only one pastor is involved the fee is $200 to that pastor.)
Members $100 to each pastor. (If only one pastor is involved the fee is $150 to that pastor.)
- A minimum contribution of $150 to the Good Samaritan Account is expected from all couples. This fund is used to assist needy persons and institutions
*In case of financial hardship, all fees and contributions may be negotiated with the pastors.
Invitations
If a couple wishes to invite the pastors to a rehearsal dinner and/or a reception following the service, they should make an explicit invitation and should indicate whether the pastor's spouse/guest is also invited. The pastors do not want to be presumptive! Also there may be occasions when one or both pastors will not be available. Early invitations will help both couples and pastors in making arrangements.
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